Hi, I've been writing this(unedited, rough) and have been looking for some like minded people to tell me whether it's worth me carrying on(is it crap)?
Comments welcome and wanted.
If it is worth continuing any suggestions for my first meeting with Jane?


My ex wife, a short chubby brunette in her early forties,we divorced four years ago after she found my rape porn (and a few other things) on my lap top called me recently. We haven't spoken directly since the day she threw me out nearly five years ago until she phoned me two months back. To cut her extensive, extended self pitying tedious ramble short having not worked since we married, I had a reasonable income from my job but had to move around a lot for it, she could only get work cleaning. She was even less used to having to budget than she was having to work, got into debt, downsized, repeated that a few times and ended up in a nasty flat in a nasty area in debt to some nasty people, please help poor me!

I'll be honest I was smiling as I listened to how that timid, frigid, repressed, holier than thou, useless little cunt fucked her life up without me to do everything for her. She'd taken me for, no, to be honest again I'd rolled over and given her, nearly everything I had at the time. You see she'd chosen not to tell the police about some of the stuff on my lappy and I needed things to stay that way.
Her sobbing over the phone reminded me of a bout of quite deep depression she'd suffered from some years back. She'd spent her time being even more weak and pathetic than normal and giving out occasional little sobs then every now and then breaking down into soft, despairing crying.
Our boring infrequent sex life had completely stopped by then which made the fact that her total defenseless-ness and vulnerability combined with the sound of her tears was really turning me on had made it a very frustrating time for me.
That was when I had a good look at myself and discovered that I would rather rape a woman than have her come willingly to my bed and that I'd would enjoy hurting a woman physically and mentally just as much as I would enjoy fucking her.

I'm not a business man in anyway but I know when there's a deal to be had and in this one I had all the aces, folding paper ones. She owed fifteen grand and was paying one hundred pounds a week in interest 'was' being the key was now penniless and frightened, very frightened so frightened in fact she'd had to turn to the man she hated most own all the planet for help.
She knew I'd made a career change just after we separated and my financial position had moved from 'comfortable' to 'quite well off'. She probably thought I'd help her out for old times sake, she was right, five fucking years ago old times! They say it's a thin line between love and hate and although I still found her now less than taught curvy pale flesh attractive (I spend a day or two following her round keeping tabs on her life from time to time, so I know what she looks like now) I really hate that squeaky little whore with a passion.

I was really nervous, scared even, it was one thing to fantasise about this sort of thing and to look at other people raping and abusing women on the web but I knew that the next words out of my mouth could Chang my life for ever.
Did I have the balls for it, it could all go horribly wrong, I could end up ruining my own life, in prison even. My heart was racing my legs felt weak and I had to clear my throat several times before I spoke, I wanted to sound confident, callous and cruel but I knew I sounded like a terrified pubescent boy trying to make up an excuse after being caught in the act of sniffing and licking the gusset of his mother's dirty period knickers. I got my self under control a little and stuttering a bit first I went for it.

The first thing I told her was that I would not clear her debt. I would however be prepared to pay the the one hundred pounds interest, plus another fifty off the principal sum each week. She hung up the phone when after she pointed out that would take three years to clear I told her I knew that and that for those three years I would own her, but I knew she would have to call back.
Our conversation took some time as she would call, I would talk and she would hang up again in revolution and disgust, just to call back a little later when she once again had to admit to herself I was the only one who could save her. Finally after quite some time I was able to give her my terms.
She knew what I wanted, her, to instruct and do with her anything I wanted for one forty eight hour period in every month and she knew how I wanted it, she had seen exactly the things I now wanted to do to a woman, to her, for herself on my laptop five years earlier. Then telling her if I didn't hear from her by the end of the week I'd assume her friends had got bored of waiting for their money it was my turn to hang up the phone.
It was two days later when she called back, in a quiet empty sounding voice she simply said, "OK, you win', then," what happens now?"
My voice still breaking a touch with nervousness and excitement as I told her to meet me in a park close to her house (she had had to sell her car along with most of her other possessions some time back and so would have to walk) in two hours time. There I would give her a detailed list of the things I was thinking of doing to and with her over the next few years.
"To give you one last chance to change your mind I told her". That was not strictly true, I was sure by now that no matter what was on my list she had no other choices left to her. My list was extensive, I had in fact written down every sick, twisted, depraved and perverted act of sexual violence I had ever watched or even heard of, even the ones I had no real interest in like scat and puke, just to cover all my options. It's purpose was not to inform her but to torment and terrify her, my plan was not just to ruin her body I wanted to destroy her mind and spirit too.

Two hours later I watched her arrive and sit on the bench in the empty play park from the comfort of my car. She was wearing a pair of cheap blue jeans the sort you could pick up in primark for under a fiver, worn out grey, I assume fake, Ug boots and a winter coat that had obviously seen better days. She looked like she hadn't slept for weeks and her makeup-less face was drawn and even paler than normal, my cock started to harden and press against my thigh as I looked at my lost and forlorn exwife.
She waited for nearly an hour past our arranged meeting time before she got up and made to leave, I don't know if she was pleased that i had not shown, I hoped so. As she stood up I got out of my car and shut the door hard to get her attention, She looked over, recognized me and sat back down wearily. I walked over and sat down beside her leaving a polite gap between us. 'Hello Jane, you look well', I lied sarcastically. Jane turned her head and looked at me her eyes full of contempt, "Hello Gary" she grunted.
My nerves started to jangle and my stomach churned as my conscience railed against this step over the line from porn site lurker to real life sexual predator. I didn't trust my voice not to betray me and I wanted to seem cool and Emotionless so I just reached inside my coat and drew out the envelope containing my list and held it up between us.
Jane continued to hold my gaze for a few seconds more then she snatched the envelope from my thumb and forefinger and ripped it open in one motion. You could visibly see the effect my list had on her spirit as she read it, her body appeared to almost deflate in on itself and without moving she seemed to sink to the floor. Then, when I guessed she must have been about half way through, she let out a sob and a tear rolled down her cheek. By the time Jane had finished reading she was crying freely.
My conscience was by now screaming at me to stop I needed to commit before I lost my nerve. "Well?", I questioned her.
" You fucking sick bastard",she sobbed quietly,"I never knew you did I, your evil pure evil!
"What is your answer Jane!", I demanded.
" You know I don't have a choice, you know that you disgusting man!"
"Say it!, I growled at her, Jane's head pulled back and the look of hate on her face was replaced briefly by one of fear.
" I'll do it!" she almost shouted. I was going to enjoy beating the attitude out of her!

I reached into one of the outside pockets of my coat and drew out a roll of notes in a bank bag, "Open your mouth Jane", I instructed, she hesitated for quite some time then slowly her mouth opened. I cupped her chin in my empty hand then slipped the cash between her teeth and laid it on her tongue. "The bag has enough money to bring your payments up to date there is enough over for you to buy yourself some good quality plain white cotton underwear from a boutique and replacements for the clothes you are wearing now from a bargain store which you will be wearing tomorrow evening when I come over at 8.30.
I also booked you in to the Beaches Spa hotel for a full make over tomorrow. A taxi will collect you at 7.30 tomorrow morning,any questions? Jane's head shook slowly within the cup of my palm. I let my hand drop patted her patronizingly on the cheek and said," Now Fuck Off Cunt, before I give you good reason for all those tears."
Jane snatched the bag from her mouth jumped up and sprinted off sobbing loudly as fast as any schoolgirl a third of her age could have managed with a gang of 60's UK radio DJ's behind her.

I let out a large sigh, I had planned to leave her sobbing on the bench but the adrenaline fuelled fight or flight response I was neck deep in had left me shaking so much with pent up energy I was not sure if my legs would hold me and again did not want to show any weakness in front of my new Human fuck doll. Although my heart was racing and I was shaking just as much as when I had first talked to Jane on the phone now the fear was gone now it was solely the anticipation of the cruel rape I was going to carry out tomorrow evening that was exciting me so much!