I confess I have cancer. Its the type of cancer that is socially not 'accepted' so well. It's all my fault my ex-boyfriend is moving back overseas in a couple of weeks. I 'cheated' on him. It was complex. The guy was married...his marriage has been torn apart by the 'affair'. Everything is pretty fucked right now. I lost two men I dearly loved despite the ways they ultimately didn't truly have my best interests at heart. They both abused my trust in ways. Its complex.
The married guy introduced me to the taboo side of sex/exploring ones sexuality...and helped me understand my BDSM tendencies and liking for many other kinks and quirks and taboo arenas/types of sexual exploration my boyfriend didn't care to understand.
I'm scared to undergo all the surgery and chemo and the like. I don't want to be judged and ridiculed and have to be in such a vulnerable position with all these medical professionals poking around inside me. I think its best for everyone if I kill myself. I've planned it. I just have to pay off my debts as best I can and I'm done. Sorry for the lack of excitement ...this is a true confession and unfortunately for some not an attention seeking post screaming fuck me, fuck me or here I'll help you cum. I just need to let this out for people to 'hear' anonymously because nobody I know will ever know whilst I am still alive.
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