I fucked a police officer, when she was very drunk she confessed to me that she had killed a man in the line of duty, it was so exciting to fuck a woman who has killed a man, I hope I can catch more police or soldiers with murders Of men, I felt so powerful

Damien: Everybody hates me!
Mr.Mackey: Why do you suppose that is?
Damien: Because I'm the son of the devil!
Mr.Mackey: Uh huh that's a good start, why else?
Stan: Oh my god they killed Kenny!
Kyle: You bastards!
Stan: Oh my god they killed Kenny!
Mr.Garrison: What kind of sick weirdo are you?
Stan: Oh my god they killed Kenny!
Kyle: Say some thing Mr. Hankey.
Mr.Hankey: Aaaaah
Stan: Oh my god they killed Kenny! Dude, Kenny is dead.
Chef: Hello there children. Let me sing you a little song:
I'm gonna make love to you woman
Officer Barbrady: Well you ain't Fiona Apple,
and if you ain't Fiona Apple I don't give a rat's ass.
Reporter: What would drive a man to such a disgusting act?
Some Woman: My god that's disgusting!
Stan: Whoa dude, how do you have sex with a chicken?
Stan: At least im not a little pig fucker.
Cartman: God damn it!
Stan: Dude!
Kyle: Huh Sick
Mr.Hankey: Aaaah
Cartman: You get you bitch ass back in the kitchen, and make me some pie!
Mr.Garrison: You got to hell!
Stan: You butt plug.
Kyle: Damn!
Cartman: Well screw you too.
Cartman: Well?
Ms.Cartman: Sure Hun.
Cartman: Kick Ass!
Cartman: Hey, ill blow your freakin head off you peice of crap!
Mr.Mackey: I mean your one screwed up little kid, do you understand?
Cartman: He is a very disturbed little boy.
Ms.Cartman: You want some Cheesy Poofs?
Cartman: Yeah I want Cheesy Poofs!
Ms.Cartman: You can have a eensy weensy bit can't you?
Cartman: Well?
Ms.Cartman: Just a weensy eensy woo-woo?
Cartman: Okay!
Ms. Cartman: I bought you some Cheesy Poofs and Happy tarts!
Cartman: God Damnit!
Ms.Cartman: Just a weensy eensy woo-woo?
Stan: Oh my god they killed Kenny!
Kyle: You bastards!
Stan: Oh my god they killed Kenny!
Mr.Garrison: What kind of sick weirdo are you?
Stan: Oh my god they killed Kenny!
Kyle: Say some thing Mr. Hankey.
Mr.Hankey: Aaaah!
Stan: Oh my god they killed Kenny. Dude, Kenny is dead.
Mr.Garrison: Dumb ass, what a retard!
Stan: You fat fuck!
Kyle: Screw You.
Stan: Dude.
Mr.Garrison: Don't be such a little wuss!
Officer Barbrady: Fruitcake!
Cartman: Bitch.
Wendy: No, I'm not acting like a freak!
Cartman: Well I was standing out in a field and I had this huge satellite dish
sticking out of my butt, and then there were hundereds of cows and aliens, and
then I went up on the ship, and Scott Baio gave me pinkeye!
Stan: What the hell are you talking about!
Mr. Garrison: There are no stupid questions, just stupid people!
Wendy: Barf is gross!
Cartman: Nobody gives a rat's ass!
Pippins: Lunchy munchy hmm!
Stan: Oh yeah? Well at least my moms not on the cover of Crack Whore magazine!
Cartman: Damnit, would you shut the hell up?
Stan: Oh my god they killed Kenny!
Kyle: You bastards!
Stan: Oh my god they killed Kenny!
Starvin' Marvin: Yeah I want da cheezy poof!
Stan: Oh my god they killed Kenny!
Mr.Hankey: Howdy Ho!
Stan: Oh my god they killed Kenny. Dude, Kenny is dead.
Cartman: Son of a bitch.
Jesus: Yay, believe in me, and ye shall find peace, the way is paved with gold for ye who seek truth!
Ring Announcer: Wearing very very black trunks...the king of all that is evil...
Towns People: Barbara Striesand, Barbera Striesand!
Barbera Striesand: I'm Barbera Striesand!
Chef: Barbera Striesand?
Leonard Maltin: Barbera Striesand.
Kyle: Kick the baby!
Ike: Don't kick the baby!
Leonard Maltin: Leonard Maltin.
Leonard Maltin: Sydney Potier.
Chef: Sydney Potier?!
Stan: Oh yeah.
B.S.: Your some little hick!
Stan: You ugly skank!
Cartman: Damn your black heart, Barbera Stiesand! Hey! Why dont you stop dressin' me up like a mailman, and making me dance for you, while you go and smoke crack in your bedroom and have sex with some guy I don't even know on my dad's bed!

(Parody of The Night Before Christmas written by Clement C. Moore)

T'was the fright before Christmas. No one upset me
With a big bowl of popcorn, watching TV

I stretched, gave a yawn, settled back in my chair,
In hopes that St. Nicholson soon would be there.

The children were lying awake without sleep
They'd seen all his movies. He gives 'em the creeps.

I'd cued up Cukoo's Nest with my trusty remote,
To the part where he had all the nuts in the boat.

When out in the yard there arose such a noise,
I turned off the TV to see what it was.

And what to my wondering eyes should approach?
But the Los Angeles Lakers and Pat Riley, their coach.

The limo was racing; the team at it's heels.
That's when I saw him the man at the wheel.

He ranted and cursed. Waved round his swizzle stick.
And I knew in a second it must be Jack Nick.

More rapid than the Celtics, these Lakers they came.
He screamed like a madman and called them by name:

'Now Magic, now Worthy, now Scott and Kareem
On Cooper, on Rambus, and the rest of the team.'

Down the chimney St. Nicholson came with a groan.
Then he brushed off the soot and said, 'Honey I'm home!'

He was wearing a trench coat. With beer it was stained.
And shirt clawed to shreds by Shirley McLaine

He had a fat face, and flabby beer belly
From too many trips to the bar and the deli.

'It's tough when an actor becomes fat and lazy.
I only get calls to play weirdoes and crazies'

And middle-aged has beens with washed up careers.
But I'll fix 'em all and play Santa this year.'

And with that he buried his head in the sack
And said, 'Let's see what you get from your old buddy Jack.

'A hatchet for Daddy,' he reared back his head,
'To scare all those little buggers upstairs in bed.

'And a stiff drink for Mommy, in a nice tall glass.
She could really use something to kill that bug up her chimney!'

With a wink of his eye and a twist of his face,
He threw all the stockings into the fireplace.

What could I do? What could I say?
What would I wear on my feet Christmas Day?

I asked for a reason, and turning his head,
He looked straight at me, and here's what he said:

'Why? Do you wanna' know why? Do you really wanna' know why, Pal?

'I'll tell you why. When you're out Christmas shopping. You know, doing your little Christmas things with all your little Christmas friends, spreading all that Christmas cheer with those stupid Christmas songs. Did you ever stop and think of picking up a little something for old Jack, huh? Did you ever stop to think of what Jack might like for Christmas?

'You know, Jack, from the movies, up on the big screen? Pouring his heart out, giving it everything he's got, day in and day out, just trying as hard as he can to bring a tiny little bit of sunshine into your miserable, little hum-drum lives. Did you ever think of good old Jack, huh, for a second? No, not once! Maybe old Jack just wasn't that good, huh? Maybe I wasn't good enough in The Postman Always Rings Twice. Acted my guts out for you in that one! Cuckoo's Nest, The Shining, Witches of freaking Eastwick, Prizzi's freaking Honor! All for you pal, just to brighten things up for ya!

'Not good enough though is it? No, you want me to brighten up the Christmas season too, huh? Isn't that what you want, Pal?

'Okay, let's make things real bright around here! What do you say we decorate the tree? String up these pretty lights here! Oh, she's looking brighter already! Why don't we take this cute little angel and ram her on the top branch huh? Ha ha ha! How about some gasoline for the whole freaking thing? I mean let's make her just as bright as she can be! What do you say we light her up, and chuck her through the old picture window here, huh, pal? No sense in having a tree as bright as all that and not giving the neighbors a chance to see, don't ya think, huh?

'There, aren't you glad old Jack stopped by? Huh, huh, huh? Ha!'

The flames towered brightly in the cold wintery sky,
As he made for his limo and bade his goodbye.

And an age may unfold ere I fail to regret
That visit from St. Nicholson. Which I'd sooner forget.

But I swear by the goose bumps upon my skin
That I'll always remember that devilish grin.

And his voice crying out ere he faded from sight,
'Merry Christmas to all, and I hope I never see you again as long as I live, for crying out loud!'

Jim Crowe/1960's level racism is still alive and well in america....the only difference is somewhere along the way it switched sides, and has become completely hypocritical because of that since people (the media) now only seem to care about murder and violent/disgusting crimes if a black guy is the one that's hurt/killed and not the one that did the killing.

That's why they don't care about that gang of black teens beating up a white kid over his basketball shoes in maryland, that's why they don't care about those 3 black guys killing a waitress over $85 in tips in indiana, that's why they don't care about that gang of black men beating up an 78 year old man in ohio, or the group of black teens in targeting white people to beat up and rob (also in ohio),and that's why they don't even care about about a 17-month old hispanic baby being shot and killed by a black teenager trying to rob his mom in georgia!

And it makes me absolutely sick to my stomach!

i just spent 42 days in county lock up. its a 3 cell jail. 4 men to a cell at the most but this little town 99% of the time the cells are empty.i was in there for tickets. from 5 years ago. i dont know if i forgot about them or jsut said fuck it but now i was paying for it. no big deal.
anyway they must have had some big troulbe over the first weekend because the cells was full. By tuesday my cell was empty again. except for me.
then they brought a faggot in and i mean pink short shorts tight pink shirts blued hair blue eyes. about 5'3" 125 pounds. and they put him in a empty cell we could talk to each othere but not see each othere for two days. then the jails filled up again 3 per cell but i was still alone then i heard a fight going on and the guards came in and had to take the faggot out of that cell and put him in mine.
the next two days was ok. we talked found out he was in there because him and his b/f got in a fight and he cant make bail.
every two days we would go to the shower one cell at a time and when we got in the shower that little fag had a 8 inch dick and think. and the tightest ass i have ever seen on a person male or female. Oh i have never been with a man and never wanted to before but this boy 18 had a sweet ass and i haven't had a peace of ass in over 2 weeks.
i started getting a semi checking out his smoot body he didn't have a 6 pac he had a 8 pack this BOY was built.
i turned my back to him so he couldnt see me getting hard. then he droped his soap and bent over and you could tell his ass has been pounded alot. and my dick got rock hard. i have gotten hard fast before but never as fast as i did just then.
we went back to the cell and after lights out we would chat some and he told me for a older man i had a good body. i told him he has a ass that most women would kill for. and a dick any man would die to have.
its a old jail window to the outside but for them to see in the room they have to open the big door or the little 6"x 1'6" door. and the only light left on is in the bath room above the pot. you can see in the room but its nice and dark.
i told him i'm not even gay and wanted to pound his sweet looking ass in the shower.
he rolled over on his back and pulled his baggy pants down to his knees and rolled back over on his stomic and said its here for you anytime you want it.
i layed ther for a few minutes thinking that is a nice ass and i'm horny as hell so i set up and walked over to his bunk and the light from the restroom was lightin up his ass just like a spot light.
i have never touched a mans ass before and was shaking when i reached back and touched his ass and damn that was was baby smooth and when i touched his ass hole it tried to suck my finger in. he reached back and took ahold of my dick threw my pants so i droped them and he pulled me to his face and started sucking my dick.
i have had lots of BJ but never as good as this one.
after just a couple minutes i wanted his ass so i pulled out of his mouth and mounted him like a dog in heat and when i dick hit his tight little hole it was like he turned on a vacum and sucked me deep into his ass.
i pounded his ass for 10 minutes the filled him with my cum.
the enxt 29 days i pounded his ass everynight i even sucked his 8 inch dick a few nights and drank his cum.
the day i got out i went to the ATM and got his bail. stoped by walmart bought alot of KY. and it only took 3 time of his big dick and i can take him balls deep. and now this little faggot is sucking dick as i type this.
if i had know it was this good i would have tried it years ago

Hi babes i would like to confess i like to dress up like a woman my wife dont know i dress up i fear if she knew it would kill her .But i just love the way the clothes feel and i like the way i feel in them you know babes i just wanna be the person i wanna b not live a lie i cant tell my wife i love cock her body revolts me babes i just wanna be in the arms of a stong male i only get cock from one guy but i have to do stuff im not proud off he likes me to take a dump on his neck after sex but he fucks me good babes and im gonna tell you about it babes so he cums around this day and i said to him fuck off desert head ( he's bald babes ) and hes all like come on give us a gob job so i said fuck off ya smelly little runt and he's like i love you babes I KNOW CHEEKY CUNT !!!!! i said again FUCK OFF YOU FAT BALD LITTLE PLEB but to cut a long story short i did suck it and yes i did swallow babes then i trapped then i got a fucked leg at work im a bricky you see but i have farted in a milk bottle and shit in a biscuit tin and love putting my finger up my bum bum babes and then smelling my finger while watching I.R.T drinking piss and goats blood plus i like pawn stars i like that big hoss id love to eat his arse out and that hunky gun bloke that cums to see rick i also like to think that chumlee is under the desk sucking the old man off and i fancy that bloke from cash cowboys the long haired one can shoot up me any time now smell my finger babes he he he he ehe ehe ehe ehe ehe hehe

I have a fantisy of fucking a hot stuck up bitch with a knife and punching the shit out of her just to show her she aint shit and man is king. I wouldn't kill her or anything like that.

I am writing this to you this because I have to. My master is making me share my story as part of my punishment for being a sissy faggot bitch. My name is Toby, I own a construction company that has about 10 employees and we are fairly successful. Successful enough that I don’t need to be at work much and have a fair amount of spare time. This is where my problem began. I Started jerking off to porno like all the time. It was all that I could do. 2- 3 times a day, always to porn, and the porn got harder and harder. One day I stumbled across a porno vid of 2 guys. The one guy was fucking the other guys mouth hard. I was intrigued and for the first time I came to the thought of 2 guys. Immediately afterwards I was disgusted and ashamed that I had just jerked off to gay porn. wtf.. Im not gay. I deleted the memory and cache off my comp and figured that I would never need to worry about it again.
A week or so passed and had forgotten about my gay incident. Life was normal, my gf Candice and I had just moved in together, things were going great. One night I was one the computer and got deep into rape porn and other hard-core stuff. I found myself jerking off to gay porn again. This time I didn’t get discouraged and went all out and fingered my ass while jerking off watching gay porn. Afterwards I was slightly ashamed but not as bad.
This trend continued and I started jerking off to gay porn daily. It was just normal for me. I also started experimenting with anal. By using cucumbers with condoms on and anal pumping myself. I was becoming a real pervert.
At some point some night I discovered craigslist. I started to play with it and even started to contact and reply to some of the ads. That’s not exactly true. I really started to reply to ads. All the time. I would be setting up dates with guys and standing them up. I became known as a time waster. And that’s what I was just a tease.
One night I got brave with all the dates and I actually was so horny that I figured I will maybe try to suck a dick. I picked one ad with a guy with a nice clean looking dick and set up a meeting in a deserted parking lot.
So there he was with his blue mini-van. I can remembering being so nervous approaching the passenger side door. He rolled down his window and for the first time I saw my master.
“why your as good-looking as you are in the pics” Master exclaimed.
“thank you, you are too, so you want to do this?” I replied
“for sure! Hop in.” master encouraged
I got in his mini-van and he lite up a cigarette. Hew was about 38 years old, clean shaven, a little over-weight but still handsome. He had tattoos and I quickly noticed his scare on his face. I didn’t want to say anything about it and just ignored it.
master was rubbing his dick through his pants “so lets get down to business”
he pulled his dick out and I immediately went down on him. His dick was about 6-7 inches long and not that thick, he was circumcised and his dick tasted like soap. He held the back of my head lightly pushing down every so often.. I really didn’t like to tell you the truth and was hoping it would end soon. He started to pump my face harder and came. I spit it all out and it was not pleasant at all. He was pissed cause I made a mess and he actually slapped me on the back of the head. I didn’t react because I just wanted it all over with.
“Get out, you worthless slave.. you should be punished for not swallowing. “ I looked at this guy like he had 2 heads. Slave? Punished? This guy was sick in my mind, I just got in my truck and left.
In my mind I was never going to suck another dick again but I wasn’t gone for 20 minutes when I noticed that my wallet was missing. I quickly grabbed my i-phone and checked my email to see if buddy had contacted me. I opened it up and saw and email from him with an attachment. I open the email and it reads “he sissy, looks like I got your wallet. I also want you to check out the nice new video I have. You will come back to this parking lot immediately and clean up your mess.” I was shocked. I opened the attachment and my heart sank.. It was a video of me sucking masters beautiful cock. He must have taped me in the act. Fuck me I thought.. this prick has my wallet and all my info and a video of me sucking his dick.
I immediately got in my car and went to the parking lot. When I got there he was waiting outside his car. I pulled up and got out really nervously.
“Well, I’ll make you a deal, you clean that up in my truck there and let me fuck your ass while doing it and Ill delete the video. If you don’t then I will be emailing it to all your employee’s, your girlfriend, your parents. I have all your personal info and I can make this happen. So its your choice. You be a good bitch and finish what you started you go on with your life. You don’t and you go on know as a dicksucker.”
“fuck you man.. Ill call the police.” I retorted.
“go ahead. I just got out of jail, I’m not afraid.. where do you think I got this scar.. plus you do that and I’ll fuck you up.. now I am going to forgive you if you immediately get in there and start cleaning..”
He was serious.. fuck me.. I slowly bent over and leaned in and started to wipe the seat with my hand..
“I have nothing to wipe this up with I pleaded..”
Master then came up behind me and yanked my pants down to my ankles and started to push his dick against my asshole.. it slide in but still hurt. I was so nervous about someone catching us I just wanted it to finish.
“here lick it up.. lick up your mess you fucking pig slut” he pushed my head into the mess…
so here I was, bent over with my face in a pile of cum and getting my ass fucked. How did this happen? How did I get myself into this? I wasn’t licking the mess up and master didn’t seem to care. He was fucking my ass like he was trying to kill it. After about 2 minutes of hard fucking I sensed he was getting close to finishing.
“please don’t cum in me,” I pleaded
“shut your mouth you fucking slut. I will cum where I want” he replied
“do you have any std’s” I asked concerned as there were no condoms, but Master didn’t respond and he started to push hard hurting me..
“uhh, uggh, ugh, take it you bitch,” master slowly relaxed still deep inside me “ I don’t know if I have and std, I’ve never been tested. You gunna get tested in a month or so and tell me, I don’t have anything serious, they would tell you in jail.”
Wtf I thought?? Anyways.. I had done my part. He gave me back my wallet and promised to delete the video.. I didn’t really believe it. I kinda at that point new that my ordeal was not over. But I wanted out of the van as fast as I could. I quickly pulled up my pants and I got in my car and left.
When I got home I felt sick to my stomach, I went to the shower and didn’t get out for an hour. I washed and washed and washed, I couldn’t get clean. When I got out of the shower I noticed that I had a text message, it was master. Now that he had my info he knew who I was he had me pegged. The text was simply another video… I opened it and it was a video he took while he was fucking my ass.
“do you think I would let your sweet ass get away now did you?” the text read

A good read on the terrorist's "He said the Islamic Movement of Uzbekistan and one of its splinter groups, the Islamic Jihad Union, both have recruited Chechen, Turks and other non-Arab Muslims to fight with them against U.S. forces in Afghanistan. According to Kohlmann, both of these groups are based in the Waziristan tribal area of Pakistan, "and these groups can be just as radical as anything al-Qaeda puts out."

"They have a strong animus against the United States," Kohlmann said.

But he cautioned against making any assumption at this point that the bombing suspects were recruited and/or trained by foreign terror organizations.

"What happened (in Boston) is within the capability of two relatively sophisticated, homegrown individuals," Kohlmann said. "These two people seem to have come out of nowhere."

David Schanzer, a terrorism expert at Duke University, said the attack appeared to be "homegrown" and that the suspects appear unsophisticated and without ties to or training from international terrorist groups.

"The fact that they needed to rob an ATM to get money (suggests) they didn't get large amount of outside funding. They had no escape plan to leave the country," Schanzer said. "These are hallmarks of people who are not particularly sophisticated. I don't see this as a highly planned plot. They seemed to be making this up as they go along."

Several links have been identified between Chechen guerrillas and al-Qaeda, according to an analysis by the Council on Foreign Relations.

Despite the two suspects' apparent affinity for the Chechen cause, anti-separatist Chechen leader Ramzan Kadyrov said there was no link between his country and Tamerlan and Dzhokhar Tsarnaev, the two brothers suspected of the Boston bombings.

"We don't know the Tsarnaevs, they did not live in Chechnya. They lived and studied in America," Kadyrov said Friday. "It has become habitual, everything that is happening in the world is connected to Chechens. Blame the Chechens."

Kohlmann sent a post on his Twitter feed Friday that the official arm of the Chechen mujahedin has denied any connection between them and the Boston suspects.

Ruslan Tsarni of Montgomery Village, Md., the uncle of the two brothers, said the family was ethnic Chechen.

Author Kimberly Marten, who researched Chechnya for her recent book, Warlords Strong-Arm Brokers in Weak States, cautioned Friday against concluding that the Boston attack was an act of terror.

"We shouldn't assume... there's a political motive behind the bombing," said Marten, who's a political science professor at Barnard College in New York City and director of Columbia University's Harriman Institute.

Most of the Chechens' acts have come in Chechnya, Russia or neighboring republics.

Among the most shocking acts of violence was an attack in the neighboring republic of North Ossetia in 2004, where militants seized a school and, in the three-day siege that followed, more than 300 were killed, most of them children.

The attack was ordered by Chechen separatist leader Shamil Basayev, who was himself killed in a 2006 bombing believed to have been conducted by Russian internal security forces.

Militants from Chechnya and other restive regions have targeted Moscow and other areas with bombings and hostage-takings for more than 20 years. The republic is predominantly Muslim and has waged two wars with Russian security forces since the demise of the Soviet Union in 1991.

p******** Vladimir Putin has often stressed that al-Qaeda is linked with Chechen fighters. According to the Council on Foreign Relations analysis, a Chechen warlord is said to have met with Osama bin Laden while both were fighting against the Soviet occupation of Afghanistan from 1979-89.

Authorities have also found links between Chechen separatists and other Islamist terrorist groups. The U.S. Justice Department said in a 2004 report that Zacharias Moussaoui, who was convicted for his role in the 9/11 attacks, had previously sought to recruit at least one man to fight in Chechnya. Intelligence officials in France had warned the FBI of Moussaoui's connection to the Chechen fighters.

An online jihadist, "Abu Sulaiman al-Nasser," boasted Friday that the Tsarnaev brothers "made the streets of America just like the streets of Afghanistan."

Violence dates back to the years after World War II when the Soviet leader Josef Stalin crushed a revolt there during the Nazi invasion and in 1944 deported the entire Chechen population to Siberia and Kazakhstan. They were allowed to return to their homeland in 1957.

Shortly after the Soviet Union's collapse, Chechnya declared independence from Russia, a move that eventually led to war from 1994-1996 when tens of thousands died and Russian regained control of the republic.

The Tsarnaev family reportedly fled Chechnya for nearby Kazakhstan and, later, the United States.

Fighting broke out in Chechnya again in 2000 when Russian forces destroyed much of the republic's capital city of Grozny in a bid to crush resistance. With the killing of key militant leaders, the separatist movement has been quelled, although violence in the region continues.

Chechen militants have committed sporadic large-scale attacks in Russia since the 1990s. In March 2010, Chechen terrorists claimed responsibility for bombings on the Moscow subway system that killed more than 40 people. In June 2010, the State Department added Chechen rebel Doku Umarov, who claimed responsibility for the March subway attack, to its terrorist list and froze his assets.

A 2008 report by the Congressional Research Service said in 2007 Russian security forces ran 850 sweeps through Chechnya that involved surrounding entire villages and searching every house. "Critics of the operations allege that the troops frequently engage in pillaging and gratuitous violence and are responsible for kidnappings for ransom and 'disappearances' of civilians,' " the report said.

Of the region's almost 1.3 million residents, ethnic Chechens make up about 95%, according to Russian government statistics. The rest are a combination of ethnic Russians and other ethnic groups from nearby countries and regions"

I confess, and this is no joke:

I wish I could kill my wife and put her out of my life. I hate her and her fucking mom with a passion. I have kids with her and I hate that they are starting to act just like her and her mom. Both are fucking jobless never-gonna-be-shit fucks. I was forced into this marriage for pity sake. She almost left me a few months ago but I fought to keep her back. I am a complete, hopeless romantic dumbass who is too proud to imagine another man fucking her, even though I hate her. Do I really hate her or do I hate my own life? I have contemplated suicide but never had the balls to do it. This is the wrong site to ask for help but I think I need serious help. I would never kill anyone, I just hate my situation. I never thought my life would be like this.

There is a huge government conspiracy where bikers are hired to perform a hit on a pre-selected family man in an SUV. Cameras are planted at various strategic locations along the highway to capture it all in order to capture the perfect amount of footage all for the very specific purpose of stopping liberal, baby-eating commies from providing medical care to those who can't afford it. The conspiracy involves everyone, from the lowliest bum all the way to the upper echelon of the secret Illuminati New World Order built to enslave us and hook us up to the Matrix to harvest the electrical signals our bodies generate to power the Starbucks espresso machine in NORAD for when nukes kill all but those rich enough to live in underground bunkers and form a new society of the elite and untainted.