Well, this is the only place I can tell this so I thought I would.
The most wonderful and frightening and somewhat unusual thing happened to me the other day.
I am a married man. I love my wife dearly but she does not fulfil my needs. She deals with depression and she doesn't let me touch her and she almost never lets me kiss her [passionately]. On top of this, she has gained a lot of weight. We did not have sex until we were married. And by then she had gained a lot more weight than when we were dating and she has steadily gained weight ever since. I still love her and treat her great but she has been dealing with a really low self image and doesn't like to be liked.
This is the confession. Throughout our marriage, practically whenever I could, I would run off to strip clubs. I am not in the best shape but I am not overly large. I am clinically obese but I am not huge. I have done these strip club binges a number of times. Now I always read about people getting blowjobs and other things at the clubs but this has never happened to me. One drunk stripper tried to take me home and I bailed. She was wasted and she had some kind of informal relationship with the strip club. I am today not sure how it all worked. But she told me to meet her outside and that I would be paying her all night. However, I would not cheat on my wife.
This brings me to this latest incident. Like I said, I have done this many times before but, the other day, I traveled to a series of strip clubs. I went with a girl for a few topless dances and she said to me. If you buy a private room "anything goes". Now when you hear anything goes [at least in a strip club] anything does not go. She let me touch her, which was great. She was pretty good at the lap dancing. And she had an absolutely incredible body. And she smelled wonderful.
Anyway, I am very respectful of these women. I do not break boundaries. And I make sure things are alright before I do them. In the private room, I did something stupid. She removed all her clothes and I asked if I could remove my pants. She said that was alright. Honestly, at this point, it was just to make it feel better but maybe that was a sign for her that I wanted to go further. She started grinding me and eventually my penis came out of my boxers. I stopped her. She said it was alright she wasn't going to put it in. I told her that I was married and I have no intention to cheat on my wife. She continued grinding and working my penis. Then she did the unexpected, she got on her knees and started to give me the best blowjob I have ever had. She was masterful. She worked the tip and even deep throated which I had never felt before. She was literally trying to make me cum. Honestly, I should have let her but I stopped her because I felt that was too far. She said I was the first person to ever say "no". Maybe if I had let her this next part wouldn't have happened.
The private time wasn't over. I was loving it. I was loving her. What was not to love? She got back on top and started grinding and working me over. I told her I didn't want it to go to far. She again assured me that it would not go to far. And it did. She slipped me inside her and started moving up and down. This was raw. No condom or anything and it felt amazing. I didn't mean it to go that far but all of a sudden I was fucking this stripper. And for the first time, physically cheating on my wife. I eventually stopped her before I came and said I didn't want to go any further. I couldn't. I love my wife. It felt amazing but my brain was saying to stop over and over. I just couldn't do that to her. Even though I had already gone to far. I fucked up.
She offered to get a condom and finish but I refused. I never did climax with her but that doesn't even seem to matter at this point. I cheated none the less. and since I went that far, I almost wonder if I just shouldn't have finished it. If I would have let the blowjob finish, then I would have probably been done then. But since it went so far, a part of me really wishes I had gone all the way.
I did get to do something I don't get to do much, if ever, at home. I love pussy. I love going down on girls. As long as they are clean and healthy, I could spend a lot of time down there. So I asked the stripper if I could. She said "of course, all girls like that." And I did. I ate her until her moans stiffled in, what I hope, was a real orgasm.
I did, at one time, ask her if she was clean. It would have been too late at that point anyway but I did ask and she said of course. I would like to think she told the truth but only time will tell.
In the end, I had unprotected sex with a beautiful stripper; got a great BJ, and gave some great lip service [I hope] but now I wonder how, if ever, I should tell my wife especially if I have a STD or STI. And I worry in fucking her, I fucked everything else up. Again, I never meant to have sex. I even told the stripper "no" multiple times but I feel like this isn't going to help me when push comes to shove.
If I don't have an STD or STI, I will probably never tell her. And that is probably best.
