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It started with me very anxious, i knew my Master’s aim and we have started negotiating about that and Him making me feel the balance He wanted to insert made my knees weak and so willing for Him. We really play with fire and sink in deep ocean what other might call abusing, emotionally and otherwise. He says He never sinked deeper with anyone but i sure do know i wouldn’t taste even a bit with someone else. His Sneaky nature makes trust risky but over the years He would saty around and all that flashed infront of my eyes. That night i was weak to make His fantasy come true and He was kind, then tomorrow i felt His sadistic side on strike and my nature always feels bound to make it happen what He craves, thirsty to taste it as well, dark corners He calls me into, corruption that makes Him so excited idk what exactly in me feels so tied by that. Like i want Him to know someone is there with all the connection to let Him taste it. Like some deep care so He can have His demons dance around me and consume me. Conflicted with second thoughts flashing tilting up and down, He is a beast He will ruin you, and in other hand hearing Him letting me know He is there for me happy He have that chance to be so free. It was the true, He can fix me only with His attention no matter how abusing it can feel or how corrupted an against what i would do in general. His lust takes me in His arms and make me dance like i never danced before, always conflicted anxiou but He say smile and be a good slut for your Master and that warmth and that strange trust, He will hold me He will not drop me. No matter how bad His sadistic is, a blind trust. So far i did so many things that makes my blood boils when i think about it but being risky with Him makes me wet and excited and so alive and so happy. We will manage, the connection is stronger than any issue we might have from past. I have never trusted more even in times i felt Him like a beast and was afraid what if He breaks me an doesn’t fix me. But then He pour confidence in me and desire for that path. And i made my choice, make His fantasy come true in all the conflict and i knew i’ll break into little pieces even tho i made mistake and said only with not knowing where our dynamic stands can break me i was so wrong. That yes, but that wasn’t the only thing. When i speak to „normal“ people i see how insane we both are and what we are doing, and i can see how they judge You, but that energy of Yours the desire to feel all no matter how bad it can be.. how did I find You , have You created that in me.. was it there.. I am losing sight of was i tor it is molded in me. A seduction but it can’t be because i have not felt more close to anything like i am to Your energy, even tho i am not corrupted and You corrupted me and now i beg for more just like You said i will. Eithr way i decided to jump when i feel my Lord that sadistic i always fear i know he will break me and abuse me deeply and i’ll suffer beyond what i can explain but then i trusted i trusted to all what he said to me and i knew one word will fix and i trusted He wants me as His toy, You fix in some point toy You like using. And that intimacy we were building makes me so more hungry and able to walk the path, it’s the puzzle more that was needed. It’s the fuel so that you can bare more and more and needed for deep deep ocean my Master is tempted with. So i visited the wolf pack, some details You know how i got there and then i figured i was desperate to prove myself even tho Master said you don’t have to slave, but I know His stubborn nature and if I haven’t tried so far we wouldn’t be here because i was so stubborn to be at His feet He looked in my direction at some point. I loved that change in Him, makes Him more open and it’s not selfish change, I want Him happy regardless. I knew what He wanted to get my all holes filled at once and i knew His corruptive wanted me not to use condom even tho at times He conflicted for me and that was soo tasty that it made me jump, He said that’s risky He was taking care of me, so I decided to take care of His corruptive to. It’s soo important we feed our desires or we go old so fast and spirit dies an soon we don’t know what we live for. We play on levels that are hidden but that cracked smile keeps You going us going for some time. So i was shameless slut of my Lord an i managed to poke and tease and then spill it out when i made the moment right asking professor, daddy and the watcher to make my fantasy come true and that i couldn’t trust anyone else with that. Long story short they accepted.. and while it started happening i knew this is where i break my innocence snapping under my Master’s fingers just like that and i know He likes to push so He pushed even more. With not fixing